Back into fight mode- with a blindfold on

 Surgery was on July 26th but wasn’t what we were expecting. Wil and I had prepared for open abdominal surgery, to be admitted for about a week, and have a bowel resection. What I wasn’t expecting was waking up and being told by Wil over the phone in the recovery room was that they were only able to remove my gallbladder (just because of gallstones not cancer) and there was cancer on my intestines. We were discharged home that same day. 

Recovery was easier than expected since it was laparoscopic only, five small incision sites instead of a cut from my belly button to my underwear line. I only had to take Tylenol for pain management. Unfortunately, the night after surgery, our 14 year old dog Darla had a seizure. She had never had one before and had been acting completely normal up to this point. The next morning, we told the kiddos to say goodbye to Darla since she was really sick and was going to see the vet while they were at daycare. 

Later that morning, Wil and I took our old lady to see her vet. She took some blood work but prepared us for the worst, that usually seizures at this age are cancer related. Her blood work came back abnormal and it was recommended to do an ultrasound. We had to leave our girl there and headed back home. Still trying to recover from surgery was difficult with all this moving around, car drives, getting up and down on the floor to cuddle with our doggie. The vet called with the bad news, cancer in her spleen and heart failure, and the recommendation was to put her down. I adopted Darla right before I met Wil because I was new to the Winston area, was working nights, and needed company. She was a year and a half old and had been abused, adopted but only to be returned because “she was too much work.” 

Wil and I drove back to the vet to say goodbye to our sweet old lady. The vet had a doughnut to give her as a last treat. I looked like a hot mess as I hadn’t showered since surgery, we had tearful goodbyes. Thanked her for the years of bringing our family great joy and love. That was so hard to leave knowing she would never be coming back with us. 

Needless to say, this set back recovery a bit. Crying, car rides, up and down on the floor caused a bit more pain but I took two days doing nothing much other than laying on the couch and reading.

We met with Dr. Skinner on 8/1 to discuss surgery findings and come up with a treatment plan. She talked to me in the recovery room but I was still coming out of anesthesia. During surgery, she found cancer that was around my bladder (where I had to have tumors removed back in 2019), tiny spots on my intestines where my bowel obstructions had been, and granular type spots to my upper abdomen that have been stable since my last surgery. 

The recommendation was to start IV chemotherapy. Carboplatin was a definite and could also add another IV chemo, Doxyl. I had Carbo in 2012 and 2014, but had an allergic reaction to it and had to complete the rest of the treatments inpatient with desensitization. Basically, lots of steroids and sneaking the chemo in slowly to trick my body that it is okay to have! What was a slight curveball was that this treatment plan would be indefinite, as long as it is working and I tolerate it. Previously I had done six rounds only. 

Wil and I had already been praying about these options since Skinner already told us treatment options before surgery. We both agreed to just start with the Carbo and keep Doxyl in our arsenal if we need it. Our goal is to live life to the fullest and would start chemo after a beach trip and Wilson starting kindergarten. 

 We had a family vacation to Holden Beach with the Warren side planned for the following week. Wil and I figured we wouldn’t be able to go since we planned on the open abdominal surgery. That all changed and we were able to go! I was still on restrictions, no lifting more than 10 pounds and no submerging my abdomen. This was a great week, it is our happy place. By midweek, my restrictions were lifted and able to enjoy the pool and the ocean. 

Our amazing neighbors, the Mazzolas, watched our dog Daisy for the week. This was best for her since she had two other dogs to play with and was covered in love. 

The week after the beach, Wilson had his open house for kindergarten at Calvary Day School. This is the same school Wil attended 2nd - 8th grade and it was a big reunion for him. It was neat to see so many alumni kiddos attending. Wilson’s class and teachers were amazing. Their class pet is a turtle named Myrtle! 

They did a staggered start for kindergarten so Wilson’s first day was Thursday, 8/18, and went with half of his class. He said his favorite part was the playground and his second favorite was eating his packed lunch. He flunked car line pick up because he didn’t hear his name but he got the hang of it the following week. 

Since he was off Friday, our family plus my mom went to the new children’s museum in High Point. We all had an absolute blast. We stayed for five hours and still didn’t do everything there. 

Saturday, we  buried Darla’s ashes in our backyard with help from the kids. I think it was good for some closure for all of us. Then we got to have a pool date and dinner with our friends the Hemphill’s. 

Wilson went to school Monday 8/22 with his whole class. Parker has been a bit more emotional and clingy at drop off with her brother not at the same school. After drop off, Wil and I headed to the cancer center to get labs drawn, get some chemo teaching, and a quick meeting with Skinner. My pharmacist is a friend and a genius! Rachel walked us through the new protocol for desensitization. The chemo used to be mixed in 13 bags, which made for a loooong infusion day. Now it is mixed in 4 bags and a lot less premeds I had to take 48 hours leading up to the infusion. As long as I behaved (Wil said that was my only job), I could stay on the new protocol and be switched to outpatient for the remaining treatments. 

Now, how do we monitor if this chemo plan is working since the tumors that were seen in surgery couldn’t be visualized on the CT or PET scan? Skinner said we are fighting this a bit in the dark. Symptoms would be a big part since the bowel obstructions lead us to this point. Also, we added back in my blood marker level, CA 125. Most likely, we will do a CT scan every 3rd round to make sure that was can’t see disease progression. If we need to, laparoscopic surgery in the future could be an option to take a look. 

My CA125 was 40 before my first surgery, anything under 35 is considered normal. Since the first surgery, my level has been below 10. This one came back at 25. Mine is not very reactive but we can use this as a trend. 

After the trip to oncology, I went back to work for the first time since surgery for a 4 hour shift. I hit the ground running, but I was already taking high doses of oral steroids so I had all the energy I needed. They had a huge Welcome Back banner and lots of my favorite treats in the office for me. My boss and coworkers have been so amazing during all of this and so very helpful for my first days back. 

Since chemo check in was at 7:30 yesterday, the kids spent the night with Wil’s parents. We were able to video call them and say good morning on our way to the hospital. At registration, we had to wait for our room to finish being cleaned. We got up to our room at 8:15 am and met our nurse for the day, Sharon. Until the patient is checked in, pharmacy won’t start mixing any of the medications. I couldn’t get my premeds until the chemo was ready as you want them infused close together. 

Sharon accessed my port (my permanent IV in my chest) but I forgot to put my numbing cream on, so it was a bit ouchie… then we waited. And waited. Then I cleaned, as our room was NASTY. Dust covered every flat surface, prescription glasses under the bed, blood spots on the bed rail. Sharon offered for us to move rooms but that would just be a big hassle. The unit secretary took photos and took it to the “big man” to complain. 

Finally, my meds were ready and I started getting infused at 11:15 am. God has been teaching us patience throughout our whole cancer journey, so we just go with the flow. The first bag of chemo has 1/1000 of the chemo mixed in it, second bag is 1/100, third bag is 1/10. The final bag has the rest of the chemo. I did great the whole time with no reaction. So we got to leave around 6:15 that night and have the kids come home, which felt amazing to all be home together. 

Today, I just don’t have much of an appetite and a bit tired. Overall, handling it really well. Now we just to have to be on watch out for a delayed reaction which could happen 24-72 hours after the infusion. 

At church the last few weeks, the sermons were smacking me right between the eyeballs. The topics have been about contentment, why does God allow suffering, and how to live with less anxiety. Contentment doesn’t come from possessions or from circumstances. Contentment can only be found in God and seeking His daily presence. We live in a broken world due to humanity’s sin but it is temporary and will pass away (Romans 8:20-22 and Revelation 21:1-4). Good can come from sufferings as a Christian as we learn to depend on God’s power rather than our own abilities or strengths (2 Corinthians 4:7, 12:9-10). Commit anything causing to the Lord in prayer and trust Him (Psalm 37:5, 1 Peter 5:6-7, Psalm 55:22). 

Prayer Requests:

1. Huge praise for making it through the initial infusion without any reaction. Pray for no delayed reaction for 24-72 hours so we can continue on the 4 bag, outpatient protocol for the rest of treatments. 

2. Pray for the kids, Wilson and Parker, as there have been a lot of changes to adapt to lately (Darla dying, Wilson going to kindergarten, Mommy back in treatment). For us to have patience and wisdom for God in how to best help with these transitions. 

3. For Wil, my most favorite caretaker, as he shoulders a heavier burden while I’m recovering from chemo. For him to have strength and endurance for the road ahead.